Thanks so much to my wonderful followers on Facebook for contributing to this playlist. There are some great suggestions — including several I’d never heard before. Play this in the days leading up to your child’s IEP, mediation, resolution, etc. — and go advocate for your child!
Let me know if you think of any songs I should add. 🙂
I write about my children — in particular, my autistic child — on the Internet. I write about them and share my own experiences in raising them — for complete strangers to read. My joys, mistakes, successes, grief, guilt, self-doubt, and even those dark, middle-of-the-night moments of all-encompassing fear. I write about it all. That’s me. I’m a special needs parent blogger.
And there are some folks out there who take issue with it.
There are those who question the wisdom of sharing my child and my life with the whole world. On the surface, my actions seem unwise. Why would I “overshare” with the world? Why not just find real-life friends and support? Why do I put myself “out there”?
Well, just as the world isn’t an easy place to be for those with special needs, it often isn’t much kinder to their parents. A hundred years ago, parents of special needs children were likely to have larger families — sisters and brothers who helped with the daily needs of the family and home. Because people started their families earlier, there were often multiple generations able to help out. More aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents to call upon.
Yet, special needs families today aren’t usually so fortunate. Many of us are spread across the county — far from family. Many, due to the extended start of childbearing, no longer have the wisdom and comfort of our mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and other mothers who’ve made this journey before. We don’t all have the support of a church family or neighborhoods where we all know each others’ names.
So, special needs parents (and all parents really) find themselves adrift in a society in which, “How are you?” has no more meaning than “Hello.” We are isolated, with no one to tell us that we are doing it right, that we might try this, or that it isn’t our fault. Special needs parenting is a lonely journey for so many of us.
The Internet has changed that somewhat. In the last two years, I have interacted with thousands of other special needs parents. Those who are like me — just starting out and wondering if they are going to make it. Those a few years in — who share resources of what helped them not so long ago. Those whose children are grown — who reach out with a gentle pat and say, “Honey, you’re doing just fine. What you are feeling is normal. It’s gonna be okay.” All of them — all of them — sustain me and others like me. They are the community we need and cannot always find locally. They connect us and remind us of a basic human need — to know that we are not alone.
There are some who question the loyalty of a parent who would “violate her child’s trust” by exposing his needs and differences to the world. Why would I choose to share that which Continued at WhatToExpect.com…
If you are a regular reader, then you already know I don’t often invite guest bloggers to post here. But my friend Lizbeth who blogs over at Four Sea Stars wrote an awesome post today about a subject close to my heart — parents speaking fearlessly about autism directly to those who are in their child’s life. I believe in this approach and have often lamented this wasn’t done for students I’ve known in the past. Lizbeth’s approach to speaking with these kids was genius. And she succeeded in positively impacting the relationships between her son and his peers. She also made me cry.
If you are thinking about taking this approach to helping your child’s peers and teachers better understand him/her, you need to read this post. It will warm your heart.
-Leigh
I went into school the other day to talk to Alex’s class about Autism. Nothing instills fear in me as much as talking to a small hoard of third graders. Kids—they are unpredictable, they are young and for the most part, they say what’s on their mind.
They scare me.
Earlier in the year we had an incident where Alex was bullied and that spurred the question of, “What do the kids know about Autism? Do they know anything? Do they even know he has it?” The answers came back as no, no and no. The kids knew nothing.
I though that maybe if they knew something, heck anything, there may be some compassion. They may have some understanding of why he does what he does and maybe with understanding would come some form of acceptance.
I’ll be the first to tell you, I worked with our school to do this. Our teachers are great and in some ways I am really blessed. They get it. They get Alex. They get me and they are willing to work with the things I suggest.
I had a PowerPoint presentation and from that presentation, I made a book for each child in Alex’s class. I wanted each one of them to have something to bring home so their parents could see what we went over in class. Truth be told, I did it in the hopes that the parents would know what I talked about, and maybe just maybe, there would be further discussion at home.
Anyway, it turned out to be really interesting. And enlightening. For all of us. The kids were really interested. The teacher had told the students on Monday I would be coming in, later in the week, and asked if they had any questions about Autism. None of the kids knew a stitch. They wanted to know things like:
